Trying

I working on it all.

This morning I made it to the gym again for a swim.  A trifle of a 20 minute visit, but it's all I have right now and I think it's helps physically.  My pelvis isn't hurting as much from sitting all day.

At lunch, I got my hair cut.  Nothing terribly special, but something that makes me feel better about the way I look.

Tonight I'm going to therapy.  I'm not sure this therapist is willing to really challenge me or push me at all, but at minimum she's willing to talk to me about this sadness and what can be done, if anything.  (Sometimes I wish my therapy sessions were on the bad days...it always seems that I arrive at her office with a smile and my tears are hidden at home.)

Last night I tried to be more present for Olivia when I could.  Smiled more and was (hopefully) a tad more fun.

This weekend we've decided to push through our last to do list items.  It won't solve it all, but I think it will help me feel a little less pressure from all the little things and take away some excuses for me to blame my grumpiness on the status of our "getting ready" plans.

53 more days.